i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need a beard to bite.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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