umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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