He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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