I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Little spoons don't ask big questions
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
