Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
