im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
