He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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