i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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