I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
