So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
