Well apparently he's into motor boating.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
