Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
