well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
