She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Randomize
