she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
