smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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