doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
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