So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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