He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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