you would pick up someone in the library
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
