someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Fuck appropriateness.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
