I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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