I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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