Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
