I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
