I can't watch pbs sober anymore
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
