There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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