So drunk its hurt
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
