I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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