One girl and one boy is just not enough.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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