5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
