Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
