found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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