I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
