Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
