Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
