the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's just like the Real World with babies
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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