Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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