Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
