Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
