Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
