You're a womanizer and a bitch.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
