ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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