Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
