Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Randomize
