yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
