once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
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