i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
