meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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