Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Randomize
