Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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