I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
