I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
