The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Randomize
