Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Randomize
