i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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