It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
