Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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