Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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