Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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